Dismantled Notes & Thoughts
by xx.just.a.contradiction.xx
Summary: A collection. The thoughts of the characters of Twilight in the midst of some of their most poignant moments. [Part One: Edward] [Part Two: Jasper] [Part Three: Jacob]
1. Bruised: Edward

**I  
****Bruised.**

**_Edward Cullen._**

As I sat there in agonised silence, trying desperately to drown out my own thoughts with the disarrayed, chaotic ones of the hundred or so people around me, I reflected on the incredible stupidity of the idea I was currently living out. No doubt, if Alice or Emmett had been here now they would have, in their own individual and delightfully blunt ways, pointed out just how incredibly stupid it was and forcefully dragged me off the plane as soon as it landed. As it were, they _weren't_ here, although I was sure Alice would've had at least an inkling of what I was up to by now, and was probably clambering on to the next flight to Italy fully prepared to chase me down before the Volturi did. I hoped that maybe someone would be able to talk sense into her and get her to leave me to my masochistic thoughts and impending doom; perhaps Jasper or Carlisle. I knew for certain it wouldn't be Rosalie…

Ah, Rosalie.

Her name conjured up pain I much preferred to stuff up the back of my mind underneath the multilingual stresses and fantasies of a plane load of humans. Of course, it wasn't memories of Rosalie herself that tormented me; it was the sound of her voice like a broken record skipping through all the recesses of my brain, always the same four words.

'_It's Bella… she's dead.'_

She'd said that Alice had had a vision of Bella jumping off a cliff, and because I'd been slightly suspicious of her intentions – I'd considered that it wouldn't be unlike her to be so cruel just to get me to come home – I'd rung Bella's house. To my surprise a young, male voice had answered the phone, and although the jealousy had ripped through me, I'd noted the anxiety in his voice and remained calm enough to impersonate Carlisle, asking for Charlie.

'_He's not here, he's at the funeral.'_

I bristled in my seat, determinedly not looking at the small child in next to me, who was staring at me with a mingled mix of curiosity and fear, her tiny brain working away at trying to pinpoint what it was that seemed so different about me. If I hadn't been on the last plane trip of my life I would have at least smiled when she started to think about the strange colour of my eyes, her comparison to them being those caramel toffees she liked so much. Her dark hair and dark eyes reminded me too much of what I'd left behind, of Bella; and I began to hum quietly, overriding her simple thought processes so that I wouldn't feel like breaking something so much.

Instead, as I sat there glaring out of the window into the stark nothingness of the night sky, the tawny shadow of my irises reflected in the inky glass staring back at me, I felt like I, myself, was breaking. It was such a humanistic quality that it scared me, but not as much as it usually would have. I'd spent too many months living like that now to be properly frightened by it, but it was still one factor of humanity that I didn't miss at all. In truth, I felt like I was physically breaking, as if, like a fragile human, I was black and blue with bruises all over my body, and as the plane began to gently tip downwards, gravity did nothing to help with this and neither did my brain.

There's nothing like your impending death to make you feel inadequate, as if you've never achieved what you wanted in life, which is quite pathetic in my case, considering I've been around for over a hundred years.

I did achieve one thing though, and that was love.

I found my purpose in life, my identity and my reason for existence – my Juliet, and even now as I walk in a dreamlike state through the airport terminal, I smile to myself, thankful for what I _have _achieved… a regular Romeo, marching off into the light.

* * *

_hey all. -waves-_

_well this is my first ever Twilight story, i hope you all enjoyed it.  
i'm sure it's been done before but i was listening to 'Bruised' by Jack's Mannequin and i was suddenly so extremely inspired that i had to sit down and write. I've been going through a Twilight-phase lately, since I _finally_ got my copy of 'Eclipse', so i suppose a story was imminent (sp?). _

_I'm hoping to make this just a collection of short stories, poems, whatever else I feel inspired to write about the Twilight universe, so yeah, any ideas are welcome. I'm also thinking of doing a sort of challenge - a hundred, 100-word drabbles about different things, triggered by a one-word prompt per piece (i have about 30 prompt words so far). so if you have any ideas or requests or whatever, let me know. :)_

_anyway, not much else to report, except that you should probably download the song or at least google the lyrics to this song because then you'll: a) understand the underlying emotion in this peace, and b) realise how perfect the song is._

_remember: 'Bruised' by Jack's Mannequin._

_thank ye kindly.  
Ash. x_


	2. Then Will You Know: Jasper

II  
**Then Will You Know**

**_Jasper Hale._**

_The batter swings and the summer flies  
as I look into my angel's eyes.  
A song plays on while the moon is high over me,  
something comes over me.  
And I love you,  
I love you freely._

If time could stand still it would have, just for my sake, in the perfection of the moment playing out in front of me. I watched, still as in awe of her beauty and infectious brightness now as the day we'd met so many years ago, as my tiny, ivory and ebony dancer weaved in and around our adopted siblings to come to a graceful stop at home base, a smile wide across her delicate face.

'Jasper!' she cried as she twirled around happily on the spot, 'Jasper, I got a home run!'

I felt my face split into a grin and nodded, chuckling at her obvious delight as she ran as lightly and beautifully as a gazelle from the other side of the field to come leaping into my arms, her long, white fingers encircling my neck as she grinned down at me and planted a sweet, chaste kiss on my lips.

I heard Emmett groan with disgust to my left and I scowled. He sniggered and jerked his head in the direction of where Bella and Esme were sitting watching us, and both myself and Alice had to hold in a laugh as we watched Bella's jaw drift further and further down; Edward and Carlisle were wrestling in the grass, throwing each other from one side of the field to the other with playful snarls.

'Edward's just showing off now,' Alice murmured rolling her eyes as our adopted brother ran full pelt at Carlisle and leaped lightly over him, making Bella flinch and slap her hands to her face, forcing herself to peer semi-curiously through her fingers.

'Psht, Edward,' I muttered rashly, setting her gently down on the ground and straightening up again with a grin, 'feel like playing a game?'

The wicked gleam in her eyes answered my question and she got quickly to her feet.

'I bet you can't catch me,' she whispered into my ear and shot off across the wet turf, her step both light and fast as she turned to stick her tongue out at me.

Laughing, I tore after her, weaving in and out between Emmett, Rosalie and the jumbled mess of limbs that was Edward and Carlisle, to chase her across the field and into the forest, where she grew cheeky and began to play chicken with me, ducking around tree trunks and swinging off the limbs of the same trees.

'What's the matter,' she called out to me teasingly from a branch above my head, 'not fast enough?'

'On the contrary ma'am,' I replied obnoxiously, playing up my southern accent with a grin, 'I'm takin' it slower 'n usual, after all, where I come from we take it easy on the gals.'

She giggled and with a rustle of leaves was gone, her pale skin only visible when she ran through patches of the filtered moonlight, her inky hair disappearing into the darkness. I counted to ten and then bolted after her, cutting a sharp left and stopping as I heard the slight sound of her breathing a good three hundred metres away. I waited in absolute silence until she was within ten metres of me and then leapt out into the clearing where she'd stopped, knowing I would catch up to her.

With a playful snarl she bounded away again and this time I didn't give her a head start, instead I used my military instincts to herd her slightly so that we came back to the edge of the forest. Gifted as she was, she knew exactly what I was trying to achieve and so began to edge back in. Realising there was no way to shock, and thus catch, her unless I acted on impulse I sped up and pounced on her suddenly, taking us both by surprise and sending us rolling down the small slope in the forest floor to come tumbling out of the forest with muffled thuds that sounded like distant thunder.

A short, sharp scream sounded near us and we flinched, looking up. We'd scared the hell out of Bella who had been sitting on her rock next to Esme, fixated on Edward, until we'd come crashing into a heap behind her. She was clinging, terrified to an amused Esme's arm, though she relaxed somewhat when she realised it was only myself and Alice.

'Are you hurt?' she asked anxiously and we laughed; Esme shook her head and gently reminded her of our near indestructibility.

'Well,' Alice said turning to me with a grin, 'you got me.'

'That I did,' I replied, leaning down to meet her lips with mine.

'Up for another round?' she murmured between kisses, a daredevil glint in those heavily lashed eyes.

'I'll give you a head start,' I said, laughing when she pulled away from my kiss and growled at me, startling Bella.

'Catch me if you can!' she cried and she bounded away again, already further across the field than seemed possible, desperate to prove a point.

I merely smiled and watched with indescribable emotion as she flitted across the grass, her alabaster skin lit up in the moonlight and her dark hair glowing with a glossy sheen in contrast with the lush green of her surroundings.

If time could stand still it would have, but there were more perfect moments when I was with Alice than it could handle, and so they all surged forward, blending with one another, pushing all my most painful memories – both human and vampire – backwards until they were tucked up in the very furthest recesses of my mind.

* * *

_A/N: lyrics are 'The Riddle' by Five For Fighting, a beautiful song._

_i love this 'ship so much.  
i'm not sure exactly what it is, but they are just so perfect for each other; their characters so likeable.  
i could just imagine this happening.. it probably doesn't quite fit in with the book, but hey. _


	3. Small Comforts: Jacob

**III  
Small Comforts**

_**Jacob Black**_

As the steady rhythm of her breathing flutters against my chest I can feel the tension inside the tent rise with every word she murmurs and every fraction of an inch that she moves closer to me.

The cold intensity of his glare burns the back of my head; it's like the conversation we've only just finished never happened and we're back to being mortal enemies: werewolf versus vampire. To be honest, I prefer it this way: I hated that everlasting half hour where I had to pretend to respect him in order to get what I wanted out of him, to hear what I needed to hear. The only problem with both of us going back to behaving like we should is Bella's complete and total frustration with us – she can't understand why we refuse to 'just get along'. If only she'd realise how much deeper this goes than just some old treaty and an unfortunate crush. I know that somewhere in her pretty little head she likes to think that if we were all just normal teenagers then Cullen and I would be friends: that we would get along.

But I know better.

Cullen is the type of guy I just can't stand – the kind that everyone loves because he has a pretty face and an even prettier amount of cash in his wallet. The kind that comes off as "perfect" because he's so good at lying through his goddamn perfect teeth that even _he_ believes his own lies; the kind that's always good at everything.

The kind that always gets the girl.

And I'm willing to bet that he feels the same about me. I'm the type of kid that annoys the hell out of someone out of him; the boy-next-door type that will always have some kind of hold on a girl's heart because I was there when he wasn't, and that's a small, strange sort of comfort to me.

But what's an even bigger comfort to me right now isn't anything Cullen feels for _me_ – it's what he feels for _Bella_. Because right now _I'm_ the one who's got the girl, however temporary it might be. Right now she's only alive because of _me_ and _my_ body heat and wait –

Yep, that's right.  
She just whispered "Jacob, _my_ Jacob" in her sleep.

I can sense Cullen's pain; can hear the low cracking as he slowly crushes one of the empty water canteens into metallic dust. I'm fighting the urge to laugh victoriously, like some kind of evil villain in a cartoon, but I'd wake Bella and I don't want to do that. Because right now she's giving me an advantage over her perfect, smooth-talking model of a bloodsucker and I'm enjoying every moment of it.

Thank you, Bella, thank you.

* * *


End file.
